“We Witness Extraordinary Transformation Every Day”
Interview with ESD Professional & Association Board Chair Michele Elefante
In the Empowerment Self-Defense (ESD) community, we find ourselves surrounded by inspiring humans. Change makers, warriors for peace, rebels, and disruptors are not the exception, but the rule. When we feel down about the violence we see in the world, we never have to look far to find a boost of optimism. ESD is the closest thing we know to bottling hope.
This month, we are pleased to bring you an interview with one such inspiring individual. A seasoned ESD professional, 5th degree black belt, and licensed marriage and family therapist, Michele Elefante is also the new chair of the Board of the Association of ESD Professionals. We loved learning more about her work in and beyond ESD, and we hope you feel as inspired as we did reading her story!
About Michele
A licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), with a Masters in Clinical Psychology, Michele has studied martial arts for 30+ years, is a 5th degree black belt in Shobayashi Shorin Ryu and Shudokan karate, and has taught ESD for over 25 years throughout the country and abroad. She has extensive experience working with diverse populations, especially with the LGBTQQI community and women and families who have experienced or are experiencing domestic violence and trauma.
More about Michele, in her own words…
I grew up in Corpus Christi, Texas. My mother is Mexican-American (her father was born in the state of Tamaulipas, Mexico, and her mother was born in Hebbronville, Texas, a city near the Mexican/U.S. border). My father is from Baguio, Philippines; he joined the U.S. Navy after WWII and served for 23 years. I'm very proud of both cultures.
I've lived in Turkey and Germany and in several states in the U.S. I currently reside in Florida with my spouse and two rescue dogs. I continue to support The Okinawan Karate Club of San Francisco by teaching virtual classes several times a week, which also supports my continued training in martial arts. I love sports (both doing and watching), being outdoors, reading, playing video games (Xbox), and trying different foods.
Our Interview with Michele Elefante
Can you describe your path to ESD?
My experience is similar to many. I started before the term ESD existed, when it was just self-defense, and it was taught primarily by men with an emphasis on physical techniques to use in stranger attacks—assaults for adult participants and stranger abductions when teaching children. I was asked to do a self-defense class for youth and later for women back in 1996 or 1997.
What I remember most about those first experiences were the questions the participants asked. They mostly asked what to do if a friend or acquaintance or someone they “kinda” knew was trying to hurt them—and less about what to do if it was a stranger. That really expanded my thinking about self-defense and the general perception of self-defense at the time, from both a situational and physical standpoint. I had many discussions and training sessions with my dojo brothers (I was almost always the only female student in the dojo) regarding the effectiveness of different techniques, because what worked for them did not necessarily work for me. This led to more discussions: “What if I don’t want to kill or maim them? What are my options?”
As a single mother of two daughters, I needed to do better. I needed to be more informed. There was so much more to present, teach and discuss than a knee to the groin or gouging the eyes. (Not that these techniques don’t have a place.) My continued training as a martial artist and instructor, combined with my education and profession as a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), provided me with a physical, emotional, and cognitive foundation that has supported me down the ESD path.
In 2005, I joined the non-profit youth organization DESTINY (De-Escalation Skills Training Inspiring Non-Violence in Youth) based in Oakland. For several days a week I taught martial arts—and the five fingers of violence prevention—to youth ages 3-18 in schools and at the organization’s site. I taught workshops at the non-profit mental health organization where I worked and provided mental health services to the LGBTQQI community in San Francisco. Most were youth who had either run away or been kicked out by their families and were doing their best to survive on the streets, but I also worked with elders and adults.
These years truly shaped me and provided the “why” for my ESD work. I witnessed such strength and change from those class participants that both inspired and humbled me; I was providing tools, and they were using them for their own situations and circumstances. These experiences were instrumental in teaching me how to become a better teacher, understanding that every cohort was different, and within every cohort everyone learns differently. I learned the importance of knowing how to pivot and adapt to what the participants need, while staying true to ESD.
You have been an ESD professional for a long time. What keeps you motivated?
The people, is the easiest answer. Last summer, I had the honor and opportunity of co-teaching with two amazing instructors, Dani Lizano and Dez Shallenberg, at a week-long trainers training organized by Julie Harmon and her IMPACT Safety Ohio initiative, “We Are Worth Defending,” a program specifically designed for women of color. Every day, we witnessed extraordinary change and transformation in the participants. These participants were so motivated to learn ESD and empower members of their community; the work they put in personally and as a group was inspiring. It again reaffirmed the “why.”
This week-long class was a pebble that was going to create not ripples, but waves. When I left Ohio, I felt motivated and renewed, reminded once again what a difference ESD can make for an individual and for a community. I can honestly say that this happens after every class, big or small.
In your work with the LGBTQQI community, how have you adapted your ESD curriculum to suit your participants' needs and context?
I believe if you are working with any marginalized group, you must communicate that they will be entering a welcoming and safe space. When I am offering a class, I specify if it is open to all genders including non-binary, or if it is gender-specific for those who identify as female or male, as well as appropriate age. I hope it conveys a sense of inclusion, acceptance, and safety. I also do my best to use the correct pronouns, something that is now fairly common but was not always the case. For the LGBTQQI community, this has always been an important piece in conveying acceptance, understanding, and validation.
I also believe that understanding intersectionality is very important. I cannot assume that because the group falls within the LGBTQQI community that their challenges or needs will be LGBTQQI-related; instead, the focus may be on race, ethnicity, culture, politics, immigrant status, or experienced trauma … or all of the above. Prior to the workshop, if possible, I will ask the organizer if any specific incidents have occurred in the community, if the participants have voiced concerns or requested more information on a particular topic. This accomplishes two things:
First, it demonstrates my commitment to listen and learn and not assume I am an expert in their community. I will often say, “I may be an expert in ESD, but you are the expert in your community.”
Second, by initiating this conversation, I am building a relationship. These conversations will help me develop role plays and situations that speak to participants’ experiences and utilize their language and acronyms. I also ask individuals to share examples if they are comfortable doing so. As I said, I’m not an expert on everything, so I need to be able to acknowledge not knowing or not being familiar with a term or concept. And if I misspeak during any of my interactions, I immediately apologize.
I do my best to meet everyone where they are, to listen, acknowledge, and honor their experiences. I believe the ESD curriculum provides structure and guidance while setting an expectation and tone of respect and safety. Although the components of the curriculum remain the same, how they “look” may vary slightly because of the participants present and their needs.
Can you tell us a bit about working with young adults in the juvenile justice system? What unique challenges do you face teaching ESD to this population, and how do you address them?
Their situation in general is a huge challenge. For many of these young adults, the majority of their life has been spent in a fight, flight, or freeze state, and their level of trauma is fairly high. I had to balance the creation of a space that encouraged choice and interaction from everyone but that was also structured and safe. I was going to open the door, but they had to have enough trust in me to walk through it. I focused on the strengths they already possessed, such as their awareness or their physical skills.
I will say, some of the examples that they provided for role play or discussion were not exactly conventional, but when we focused on what they saw, felt, and thought—focused on their own experiences—they received positive feedback, validation, and perhaps most importantly a space where they were not judged or blamed. This helped to build trust both in me and the class, creating a foundation for them to gain or upgrade useful skills—and maybe have some fun. Role plays, movement, and more artistic or creative games were especially powerful.
At the end of the day, these young people (who were all between the ages of 12 and 17) wanted to laugh and play. They wanted to believe that they would have a future and that someone would care about them. I will acknowledge that when working with these young people, my background and experience as a LMFT helped me to appropriately hold the space for everyone.
As both an experienced martial artist and a seasoned ESD instructor, what are the most interesting meeting points between these practices for you?
Such a great question. At this point in my life, I see myself as a teacher—not a martial arts teacher or ESD instructor, but a teacher. My responsibility is to first and foremost create a space that is welcoming, safe, and inclusive. I want to cultivate a community that supports and encourages growth. This is built on clear communication, expectations, boundaries/rules, and mentoring.
I’ve had students tell me that they enjoy coming to karate class, participating in the class, but that they keep coming back because of the people and the feeling that they are a part of a community. This makes me happy. My teacher, Ilene Smoger, taught me this. She gave me an initial blueprint for creating community and belonging in a dojo. To this day, that has made such a difference in my everyday life outside of the dojo. I can say the same about teaching ESD and working with so many class participants over the decades.
I think that the meeting point between these two practices is actually the starting point. Without creating the initial foundation it is really hard to build anything strong and lasting that continues to give back.
What does the Association of ESD Professionals mean to you?
For me, the Association means community, a place where practitioners and organizations large and small, old and new, from all over the world can come together to support each other. This support is wide and varied depending on what is needed by each member. It focuses on ESD teaching resources, mentoring, business and marketing, and networking, to name a few.
Like life, the ESD movement is not static, even if at times we may want it to be. It is continually growing and evolving, even as the principles remain constant. My vision for the Association is that it continually promotes the growth of the current, established ESD community, while also nurturing ESD in areas, regions, and countries where it is less established. I believe we all started down the ESD path because we saw a need and wanted to be a part of the process of change for the better. Along the way, we also witnessed the changes it made in each of us. Speaking for myself, I became a better teacher and a better human.
This movement has been happening for decades, since long before it was called ESD, and long before I became involved. Many have dedicated their lives to it through teaching, research, outreach, development, and education. ESD has a rich history, and it is imperative that we balance valuing our own experiences with remaining open to listening and learning from others' thoughts and ideas in a way that honors and respects us all. We will not always agree, but we can appreciate the passion, dedication, and work that each person in this community has given to the ESD movement. The Association strives to do just that.
How do you hope to support the ESD movement as Chair of the Board of the Association?
I want to promote a clear path for everyone involved in ESD to grow, learn, teach, and mentor. I have an analogy… Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love trying foods. I see the Association as a large, sturdy table where everyone is welcome, where anyone can bring a dish to share if they want, and everyone is free to try a dish, swap, compare and ask for recipes for any dish they sample. The table is always there, and you can choose to come to it at whatever time works for you.
As Chair, I will to the best of my abilities encourage everyone to come to the table, bring a dish, share a dish, or try a dish while ensuring that the path remains clear to welcome and meet the needs of the ESD community.
The Association of ESD Professionals is pleased to announce the appointment of Michele Elefante as the new Chair of the Board of Directors. The Board provides crucial support for the Association’s growth and success around the world. With Michele at the lead, there is no doubt that Association programs, advocacy, and membership will reach a new level of impact.
Would you like to share about your ESD work, or do you think a certain ESD organization should be featured? Reach out at toby@esdprofessionals.org about contributing to the Association of ESD Professionals blog!
Author: Toby Israel / Michele Elefante
Editor: Samantha Waterman / Qwan Smith
Photo: Courtesy of Author
Want to learn more about the Association of ESD Professionals and join our growing community? Email us at hello@ESDProfessionals.org.
